Waiting It Out

My disability was approved up until today, but I can’t go back to work until my doctor sends a letter stating that I’m ready.  My psychiatrist and primary physician have until March 23rd to fax in updated information and recommendations that I stay out until April 19th.  I’m pretty sure that it will be approved as long as it is what they recommend.  So for now, I’m just waiting to find out the verdict.  And I’m not sure if these days are going unpaid or if my manager will let me use more personal days.  If it is approved eventually, I’ll get the personal days back and the leave will be with pay.

I’m really nervous about going back to work.  My husband is a contractor (doing Project Management), so all our health benefits come from my job.  He’s also trying to get into the Foreign Service to work for the State Department, and is on the last leg of acceptance into that.  He has the oral assessment on April 12th.  If he passes, we will move to Washington DC and then to God-knows-where overseas for four years or more.  All of this is adding stress to an already stressful situation!  The only good thing about the Foreign Service is that I wouldn’t have to worry about working.  But other than writing I’m not sure what I’d do, since we’d likely have a maid and a cook wherever we end up going.

At least my mood is more stable now, and I go up to 60mg of Cymbalta in a couple of days.  I’m hoping that will really boost me up and I’ll feel like my old self completely then.  If that’s the case then I should be able to handle working, right?  Well, I’m not sure!  My fibromyalgia is still a fairly new condition that I’ve had to begin learning to live with, and even though it’s not nearly as bad as some people’s symptoms it does make it harder for me to do the things that I used to do without much effort.  I think the depression was what really messed me up with my job, and as far as I know things will continue to shift and change at work just like they always do at a big bank.

I’m spending my time doing mom stuff mostly.  But I’m happy to report that I have finally been able to get engaged in some reading again!  I’m reading Jodi Picoult’s My Sister’s Keeper.  Haven’t seen the film yet so it’s all new to me.  I love her books!  I’m also working slowly on a needlepoint project, but I don’t feel up to doing it everyday so it will be awhile before I get it done.  But at least it’s progress!