Today my husband and I were both working at our offices. His is across the street from mine, so we are fairly close. He sent an email to see if I wanted to go to an Indian buffet for lunch with a couple of his Indian coworkers. Originally I had planned to eat at work and even packed a lunch. After arriving at work, I had decided to spend my lunch hour driving back to my home office since the boss is off today and I have a later than usual meeting this afternoon. My first reaction to my husband’s email was to write back saying that I couldn’t do it, but then I thought twice.
Why couldn’t I have lunch with him and meet some of his coworkers, and then drive home? I was going to be working later than usual anyway, so there wasn’t an issue with getting in my time for the day. The lunch I packed could be saved for tomorrow, couldn’t it? So I ran it by my team lead who said, “Do whatever you have to do…no problem with me”, and I sent my husband a reply that said, “Sure!”
I think he was surprised. Which is kind of sad, really. The fact that I normally shy away from doing things on the spur of the moment can’t make me a very fun loving person, although I blame my inflexibility on the fibromyalgia. But I’ve decided that instead of jumping to my first inclination to say no to things of this nature, I’m going to start thinking twice about them. I’m going to think about the real reasons I’m saying no to doing things, especially if it’s something that I’d probably end up enjoying and that would make my kids or my husband feel better about me.
So today I thought to myself:
Do I have a meeting at lunch time that I can’t miss? No.
Am I behind on my hours for the week and can’t take the time to go out to lunch? No.
Do I have tasks that need to be completed today that would require working through lunch? No.
Do I hate Indian food? No.
And then I thought to myself:
Would it make my husband happy if I joined him and his coworkers for lunch? Yes.
Would it be something I’d probably enjoy? Yes.
Could I make it back to my home office in time for my afternoon meetings? Yes.
Do I have the energy today to eat lunch with new people? Yes.
Well, at least I have on makeup and am dressed (since I’m working in the office instead of at home—on work-from-home days I often work in my pajamas until noon and don’t put on any makeup all day). So the hardest part was already done. All I had to do was drive across the street to meet my husband and jump in his car.
From now on, instead of automatically saying no to things, I’m going to think about it first. I’m going to run some questions through my mind and make a decision based on how I’m feeling that particular day and on what kind of energy I’m going to need to make it through the things I already know I have to accomplish. If there’s not a good reason for me to say no then I’m going to start saying yes. I think I’ve gotten too good at saying no. Maybe stopping for a few moments to take everything into account will help me enjoy more things in life, and make me more fun to be around, too.
