Along with depression, fibro fog is the part of this illness that interferes with my life the most. I found this article on brain fog and it spoke to me. I could relate so well to many of the symptoms.
Brain Fog Symptoms
Symptoms of brain fog can range from mild to severe. They frequently vary from day to day, and not everyone has all of them. Symptoms include:
- Word use & recall: Difficulty recalling known words, use of incorrect words, slow recall of names.
- Short-term memory problems: Forgetfulness, inability to remember what’s read or heard.
- Directional disorientation: Not recognizing familiar surroundings, easily becoming lost, having trouble recalling where things are.
- Multitasking difficulties: Inability to pay attention to more than one thing, forgetfulness of original task when distracted.
- Confusion & trouble concentrating Trouble processing information, easily distracted.
- Math/number difficulties: Difficulty performing simple math, remembering sequences, transposing numbers, trouble remembering numbers.
My job requires a lot of time in conference calls on the telephone. Often I’m not 100% sure what is going on because we’ve been reorganized and I’m “new”—how long will that excuse work? I experience a lot of confusion and am easily distracted. I take notes as best I can, although usually my notes only create more questions than answers. Then comes the short-term memory problems…someone asks me about the meeting and I can’t even summarize what it was about. Sometimes I can’t even recall what meeting they’re asking about, and I stand there looking stupid. It takes going back to my desk, finding my notes, letting my mind relax a moment until it can sift through to the right meeting and (hopefully) come up with something semi-articulate to relate.
The thing that scared me more than anything was the directional disorientation. I’d be driving home from work on a road that I knew fairly well, but it looks like any number of roads I’ve driven on in the different states where I’ve lived: just trees on either side of the two lane road, twists and turns and no real landmarks to speak of. It would suddenly strike me that I wasn’t sure where I was. I could be in Kentucky, or Indiana, or was I in North Carolina? Yeah, scary stuff. This would happen within the space of a couple of minutes and I’d remember exactly where I was, but during those few seconds it was like I’d gone out of my mind.
Fortunately I’m able to work my job and get things done on time. I don’t know if anyone is aware of my confusion. I don’t think they are. But it scares me knowing that this has progressed over the last couple of years and that it could get worse. What would I do if I couldn’t work? My family depends on my income and mostly on the health insurance I get from my job. I think we’d be okay financially with my husband’s job, but my girls will be wanting to go to college in the next four years and I know that’s not cheap. My older daughter needs surgery for her jaw, and she wants to take a trip to Africa this coming summer (that I want her to take, too). We’d have to cut back on some of these things if I weren’t able to continue working.
I just wish I had more passion for what I’m doing. I know I’m lucky to have a good job in this economy so I shouldn’t be complaining and wanting more, but I hate feeling inadequate at what I do, and the confusion makes me feel inadequate 75% of the time. How do other people with fibromyalgia manage this aspect of the illness in their professional lives? Any insights would be gratefully considered.
